I have been asked several times lately about how my friends, family and community has supported me on this medical adventure. I have been asked if people have offered to help. Always. I have been asked if we have accepted help. Sometimes. I have been asked if people have let me down. Yes. I have been asked if some people have surprised me with their kindness. Absolutely.
So many questions has got me thinking - again. This morning while doing my regular daily chores I wrote a blog in my head. The blog that I want to write now is completely different than what I wanted to say this morning.
This mornings conversation with myself...
Sometimes I am sad, angry and frustrated (5%) ...
- I long for people who choose not to be apart of my life. I know logically that this is their issue not a reflection of me but I miss them more than words.
- I miss my Grandmother who passed away four years ago. Maybe I didn't grieve as much as I needed to at the time but I would do anything to watch her knit, help her bake butter tarts or have her "Bless my little heart" just one more time.
- I am hurt by my family who has all but ignored the severity of my medical condition let alone acknowledged that of our sons. Nothing can be compared to what we are facing nor can it be minimized. I am equally sadden that virtual strangers want to be a part of our lives and help us but the people who should stand by you know matter what have disappeared.
- I hate when people ask questions but don't actually listen or try and comprehend the answer. I hate it more when they ask again...and again.
We are so blessed (95%) ...
- We have some of the most amazing friends. Today I spent the morning chatting and giggling with two of the finest while decorating Christmas trees decorations. Thank you Lisa and Jess - I love you both so much.
- Not a day goes by without a message or telephone call from someone who genuinely cares about how we all are. I have reconnected with some friends who have been so wonderfully supportive. More than they even know.
- I have met fellow AVM survivors who get it - really get it. They understand the emotions because they live it with me. My life is better with them in it; and to think we could have remained strangers is unthinkable. Thank you Mel, Binky and Holly for being apart of this journey. I can't wait for our AVM free party :)
- We live in a wonderful community. Not once but twice this week food has shown up unannounced at our door. Neighbours regularly offer rides and support our small farm by purchasing preserves and eggs. Some peoples generosity has been extremely humbling and you can be assured we will pay it forward as soon as we are able.
- I have a wonderful mother and father who love us, show enough concern but also give enough space - (Thank you xo) They are always willing/able to care for their grandchildren and our many, many, many animals.
- John and I share three of the most incredible children. Each of them uniquely funny, smart, creative and resilient in their own special way.
- I am so incredibly fortunate to have John's love and support. There are no words to express my love for this man.
- Then there are people like our friend Erin who asks question because she wants to understand and wants you to understand. This is the gift she gave to me to share with you. An article she wrote about our adventure so far - Thank you Erin
<3
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