Whats on my mind?

If you really know me you will know I have very strong opinions.  Having a brain injury, as a result of Gamma not the AVM, hasn't changed that.  However, now my filter is bent and slightly broken so I'm not as tactful as I once was.  Does it bother me?  Occasionally.  Other times not at all.  Some people need to be shook into reality about me, us and whats going on in our community and beyond. 

I have recently discovered that some people also assume, since I have a brain injury, I must also be crazy or no longer intelligent.  For the record that is false. (Well maybe I'm a little crazy with genetics and all. We embrace it). I'm still very knowledgeable but sometimes it's harder to process what I want to say and communicate effectively. I can write though. Here I am.

If I can accurately predict my future I will say you are going to see a lot less public acting on my part.  I am tired of pretending all is well when it is not.  What you won't see is me posting about it on Facebook.  I will still continue to be very active on our BLACKberry Fields fan page and share information.  I love our farming community; it really is my happy place. I will still use FB messenger to communicate with my friends.  I will still participate with private groups I belong to.

However, I will not be sharing what I'm up to, how I'm doing or the universal question "What's on my mind?".  Facebook enables people to pretend they are actively involved with each other based solely on daily (sometimes hourly) status updates.  I am guilty as well.  I have decided I need more.

I intend to be much more active on this blog.  It will be unfiltered so if you really want to know whats on my mind this is where you will need to look.  Keep in mind before you subscribe the following user tips:

• I will run this blog like a monarchy where I reign as queen.  You can comment your opinions as you wish but I will have the last say.  (Refer to my last post about writing my truth.)
• I will write about gender bias and feminism because it is very important to me.
• I will write opinion pieces about parenting because that is what I know.
• I will write about farming and sustainability because that is where we are going.
• I will write about what I really think about the medical community and you may not like it or want to hear it...  It will give you something to think about and then you can seek your own truth.
• I will write about my history and how I got to be who I am.  
• I may ramble because sometimes that's whats happening in my head.

Today is the start of something new.  Welcome.

PS - I also love Pinterest so I hang out there frequently.

Before we go any further...

Everything I write belongs to me.
I own it.
Whether it be my thoughts, feelings, perspective, my opinion or other wise, it is my reality.
It's not open for debate.
It's my story.
How you interrupt my words it is up to you.
How it makes you feel isn't about me.
It's about you.
Your story.
Your feelings.
If something I have written makes you uncomfortable, ask yourself why.
I don't write to hurt others.
I write to give a voice to my truth.
It is my outlet.
More and more often I find myself censoring my words.
I feel like I can't be authentic in my own space.
Today that stops.
I have acknowledged repeatedly on this blog and in person how grateful I am to those who have loved and supported us this past couple of years.
Many relationships and friendships have forged and solidified.  We are very fortunate indeed.
To have people question my gratitude is annoying in the very least.
Disappointing and yet very predictable at best.
If we haven't accepted every offer of support and help there is a reason.
Don't question it. Don't try to make me feel ungrateful.
I know who I am, what I need and when I need it.