All about awesome...

I'm all about awesome right now thanks to a blog post by "Pigtail Pals - Redefine Girly". I am sharing this letter I wrote to the Vice Principal today.  I don't know about you but I am getting really tired of building my children up at home only for them to be tore down at school. NOBODY is stealing my children's awesome!

I know that there are some really great teachers and I applaud them.  Thank you.  This is MY frustration.  MY issue.  MY blog ;)

Dear Mr. F

After a very difficult spring in grade seven, our daughter A decided to approach the new school year with a new attitude. After a summer recovering from a damaged self esteem and sense of self worth she decided that she was not going to let a few steal her awesome. As you are well aware, grades seven and eight are brutal on teenage girls.

On days one through five of school she was feeling great and excited about the possibilities of the new year. Old conflicts had been forgotten and she was looking forward to a fresh start. On day six she came home frustrated and angry. Discouraged and confused. Questioning why a student was centered out in front of the entire class and told that they belong in "coaching" aka "special education". She was offended and so am I. She was very concerned that four students cried during this "group circle".

I would like to know why it was felt necessary to speak to the entire class regarding a few students behaviour in Miss W English class. Are the other teachers also expressing difficulty with the entire class? Why are students being encouraged to talk and speak their mind only to be told they are wrong and that their opinions are not valid? It is becoming increasingly difficult as a parent to support your methods as a vice principle when my daughter know longer trusts you or the "system". As I have said to you before in a previous email (November 2010 re: B) I believe it the responsibility of the staff at (school) to model appropriate behaviour. If staff do not show respect to the students, how do they expect to receive respect in return?

This is how A feels. This is her perception of what happened at "group circle". I would love to have the opportunity to discuss what message you were trying to convey.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Regards,

S

*** Just to let everyone know I spoke with the VP. Great conversation - honest and respectful. He acknowledged and validated my and A's concerns and frustrations. I am empathetic to his frustrations. He has a very tough job.

I made it very clear that the behaviour of a few does not represent the entire class. Deal with those kids. The rest of the class has been putting up with challenging dynamics for the past 9 years. The education system failed this group years ago and he is coming in with too little too late. 

I also told him that his message was lost to the entire class. All they heard was that he is taking away their power, cancelling their class trip and that a fellow classmate belongs in special ed.   Not a great start for this class.  Hopefully they will learn to trust him again; if not it's going to be a very long year for everyone.

My friend L sent me a message last night and she wrote, "You all must have some really kick ass things coming your way once this whole ordeal is behind you. I mean mind blowing ....".  This is what I will chose to believe.  Watch out world :)

Life Interrupted

 

On Wednesday we drove to Toronto to meet with my neurosurgeon.  As expected he prescribed an anti convulsent to stop my reoccurring seizures.  As expected I need to take some time off of work to get my side effects under control.  As expected I have to go back in a month for another MRI and consultation to see if my brain is swelling.  Then my neurosurgeon told me that he is obligated to tell the DMV about my seizures and I can expect to lose my license for at least six months, maybe longer.  Completely unexpected!

You may be asking yourself why this is such a shock.  I have been told time and time again by friends, family and acquaintances that I would lose it; after all I am having seizures.  However, both my family physician and an emergency room doctor told me that I could continue driving because I remained conscious and aware throughout every partial seizure.  I trusted that as the truth.  My neurosurgeon believes that this is the beginning of something much bigger and it is simply not safe for me to continue driving.

It has taken me a couple of days but I am starting to work through some of the anger.

Up until this point I have been scared but never really angry.  I deal with things as they come.  Put on a brave front, take the information in, process it and continue to carry on.  John and I both have a great sense of humor so we poke fun at my AVM, seizures, general forgetfulness and other odd side effects in order to stay sane.  Wednesday I had a reality check.

Without my driver’s license I lose my freedom, independence and normalcy.  I can no longer work because my chosen career requires me to drive. Changing jobs is not an option because I simply can't focus long enough to learn a new position.  I can no longer pick my kids up from school if there is an emergency, let alone take them to extracurricular activities.  I can’t go to the grocery store, doctor’s office or visit a friend without asking others for help.  I know that this set back is temporary but I feel like it was the final straw.

I am tired of explaining what an AVM is repeatedly, especially to the same people.  I want people to understand that my recent surgery is not a quick fix but the beginning of a very long and dangerous journey.  I hate that the radiation I received is compared to those of a cancer survivor.  It is very, very different, as is my disorder.  I want my friends to listen and support me but know that I can still listen and support them.  I want people to know that I have skill deficits, memory loss and get tired easily but my AVM doesn’t define who I am.