Oh where, oh where, oh where is Stephanie???

I have a small confession.  I forgot my blogger account sign in name and password. I forgot where I wrote it down. I forgot how to retrieve it.  I was angry, frustrated and embarrassed so I didn't tell anyone or ask for help. But look... here I am.  In a moment of clarity I remembered what to do and here I am!

It's been an eventful few months so I will give you the brief synapses of what's been going on with me and mine.

I continue to have regular seizures.  An MRI of my brain on October 5th showed significant swelling,  So much swelling that they could not see my AVM.   I can't handle most sensory things like smell, loud noise/talking and bright lights. I struggle with counting, reading, comprehension and spelling every day.  It is difficult for me to talk to people I don't talk to often because I can't read people like I use to.  I can no longer tolerate (I hate that word), accept people who are angry, rude or ignorant.  I'm not trying to be nasty but I just don't have time for those people in my circle anymore. (If you are here reading this I can personally guarantee it's not you :) I choose to surround myself with positive people who make me happy and have similar values as me.  The plan for now is to continue to monitor my seizures, increase my meds as needed and follow up in December with my Neurology team at TWH and my cardiologist at St. Michael's Hospital. 

Skip ahead if I have already told you this; I tend to repeat myself...

When John and I built our house on the hill we knew that one day we would farm.  By "we", I thought HE. Turns out it's me/us.  A small hobby farm.  We would have a few chickens, a cow and a little garden.  As my health and employment status changed so did our time table and the size of our plot.  BLACKberry Fields will become a productive farm in 2012.  Once the tractor rolled its way onto the property I knew it was a done deal. 

Daily conversations about chicken, eggs and the coup expansion rule.  Closely followed by garden expansion, fencing and a new barn.  All Amy can talk about is her billy goat that currently lives at Poppa Black's farm.  Brenden wants to know how much money he is making every time he helps with anything and Dana is still cat (3) crazy!!

In a short 10 months my world has shifted.  I thought I would continue through school and have multiple diplomas giving me the knowledge required to help others.  Turns out others are now helping me.  Everyday I am grateful for the emails, telephone calls, the visits, the offers to pick me up anything and everything I may need.  I am grateful for my family who can still laugh with me through the craziness and hug me through the tears. 

My world has shifted but it's not all bad.  I like how we are living our life.  I enjoy being home.  I like experimenting with preserves, talking to the hens, planning my garden for next year.

Just so you know; I wrote down my password and showed John where it is. :)